Communicating Podcasts

 Hello everyone, this week we are going to be taking a look at the podcast Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques. This podcast comes from the Stanford Graduate School of Business. Specifically we will be going over a few points from the episode posted 2/18/21 titled Building Strong Relationships: How to Communicate Effectively In Your Personal And Professional Life.

In this episode, host Matt Abrahams is joined by Carol Robbin and David Bradford, authors of the book, Connect. They explain what they refer to as "exceptional relationships." According to Carol, an exceptional relationship is one where both parties feel vulnerable and can be honest. In order to achieve this, you must build a capacity to understand what's going on for you and for your audience (Abrahams, 2021). Being aware of those signals and changing your communication based on what you perceive will move the relationship toward being exceptional. Other advice included: take the risk to allow yourself to be known; be able to update your beliefs and assumptions; and treat every interaction as a learning opportunity (Abrahams, 2021). By doing these things, Carol says we can build interpersonal relationships and communication strategies to be as effective as possible in our daily and business life (Abrahams, 2021). 

David goes on to touch on two very important points: Agency and Choice. These are important for building relationships and understanding how you react and treat interpersonal situations. For example, David explains why we sometimes choose to not raise a point and why, and that there is a difference between saying "I can't raise this point with this person" and "I choose not to raise this point" (Abrahams, 2021). He says we must own the fact that you have choice as it gives you empowerment and freedom in the relationship, as opposed to feeling as though you can't raise a point due to possible negative reaction (Abrahams, 2021). By understanding your audience and being able to understand their point of view you will have a better understanding of when and how to raise difficult points.

The two then gave their advice on disclosure in interpersonal relationships. Carol relates that there is a bigger downside to allowing yourself not to be known: that those around you will fill in the blanks for you (Abrahams, 2021). Humans like to make sense of things, the less you tell people about yourself, the more opportunity they have to make up stories to fill out your story. To take it one step further, dishonesty in communication will only increase disfunction. We can avoid dishonesty by disclosing, and when disclosure is reciprocated trust builds and the relationship grows stronger (Abrahams, 2021).

When asked what safe methods there are for disclosing, David tells us that there is no completely safe way since in essence disclosure is vulnerability, but one can lower the probability of negative interactions. However, you must be willing to take the risk in the first place. He explains there are 3 levels of disclosure: the comfort zone, where there is no risk and nothing too personal is communicated. Then there is the "15% out of comfort-zone", where you might offer something personal to open up dialogue and give the other person a chance to reciprocate (Abrahams, 2021). Finally, both members gradually build upon past disclosures until there is openness and understanding. When disclosing, you have agency to decide what to disclose and how much. According to David, disclosing feelings is the most effective way to communicate (Abrahams, 2021). Taking these risks builds the relationship by slowly sharing feelings to build trust between two people. 

Per our text for the class, self-disclosure is the process of making intentional revelations about yourself that others don't know that constitute private, sensitive or confidential information (Green, 2022). We have also learned how failing in these areas can lead to negative outcomes such as jealousy, relational abuse, emotional abuse, and economic distress (Green, 2022). It is also important to remember that the positive outcomes we aim for, such as self-disclosure and affectionate communication can become unhealthy once they become extreme (Green, 2022).

The importance of self-disclosure is outlined well in the text. Green explains that it is important for three reasons. First, we can develop a better understanding of ourselves; second, we can develop a more positive attitude about ourselves and others; and finally, it is a key approach to grow the relationship in depth and meaning (Green, 2022).

To bring it all together, taking the advice from Carol and David will serve us well if we can also understand the importance of self-disclosure and the factors that affect it that are stated in the text. We must have awareness of the audience and actively choose what to disclose and why. By understanding why we need to disclose we can make informed decisions on how to approach certain topics and build trust. We must take the risk of vulnerability in order to disclose, and disclosure increases as intimacy is slowly built (Green, 2022). I liked hearing this podcast as it explained some of the "how" after understanding the "why" from the Communicating Online text. For someone who struggles at times with communication, these insights will serve me well as I continue building these skills.